Black Halls
by Robinola
Summary: Black hair, dark arts, shadowed hallways. When dark days come, perhaps black halls are better than daylight. This story is now complete, unless, of course, I decide to rewrite it as a more ordinary story.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section I:

James Potter and his best friend Sirius Black were arguing as they never had before.

"When are you going to make an honest woman of her?"

"And dishonor my family name?"

"Am I talking to my blood brother James, or my birth brother Regulus?"

"Going to turn traitor on me too, like the wolf—I suppose you're both using her too?"

"Using is the right word, Merlin knows all the attraction is on your side!"

"Go home to your dark family, Black!"

"Perhaps I will. Have fun with the rat!"

"Oh, no, I'll be having fun with Evans, as you know!"

"Don't think I won't see to it that she knows the truth about you!"

"She already knows, thank you very much!"

"Lily, fuck, he's got me under the imperius!"

"Of course, since you're such a weak-minded arse."

"If you leave, you won't see a penny from me, whore!"

"Too bad she ported out before you said that."

"Where to—tell me, Black, or I swear, as an auror, I can—"

"Do nothing, since I'm one too, in case you forgot."

"I'm searching the wolf's hovel."

Sirius Black stood in the yard alone now, wondering when everything went so wrong.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section II:

Lily Evans is facing Lord Voldemort in a small muggle apartment, standing before a crib.

"Do you really think you can hope to face me, mudblood?"

"Personally, I'm shocked you came after me all by yourself."

"Such spirit. A pity I cannot recruit you."

"The stalebloods really do tell you what to do, eh?"

"I will destroy you for that, after forcing you to watch me kill your son!"

"And that's different from what you were planning before how?"

"Stand aside, you foolish girl!"

"I'd rather die, you scum!"

"And so you shall. Avada Kedavara!"

"I guess you won't be killing me first then. Mom wins!"

"Such a large mouth on such a small child!"

"I'm four, and we are enemies, old person."

"And you shall die, that I may live, regardless."

"I'm not afraid, mom is waiting."

"That matters not. Avada Kadavara!"

Harry Evans lay unmoving on the floor, a large ragged gash on his chest dripping blood.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section III:

Remus Lupin walked into a small kitchen, to find Harry Evans eating a sandwich.

"Where's your mum, my lad?"

"In the bedroom, like she has been for five days, I think."

"What do you mean?"

"Dark bad came for me and got her."

"What are you talking about, let me have a peek at—oh gods!"

"I'm really glad you came early."

"Yeah, look, I have to go, but I'll be right back."

"Now what is the big deal, Remus, you know I was at work?"

"Sirius, just, well, in the bedroom. I need you to be in professional capacity."

"Both my uncles came for me!"

"I'm calling for back up. You'd better take him."

"Straight to a healer, he must be in shock."

"Now will you be my dad?"

"Evelyn, oh good, I'm glad it's you at the desk. He's been alone."

"What are you talking about. What did I tell you about bringing kids to work?"

"Mommy's dead, and I hid till uncle came. I made sandwiches!"

"You shouldn't have brought him here, if it was, well, you know…"

"Come with me, and make sure he's ok?"

Evelyn Puckle apparated home in the middle of her shift that day, losing her job.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section IV:

Belatrix Lestrange screamed as Rudolphus Lestrange joined his brother in death.

"Damn you forever, Frank Longbottom!"

"You are under arrest, you bitch, surrender or die like them!"

"Your wife is already a gibbering wreck, butt boy!"

"Such vulgarity from a pureblood princess!"

"Rather meaningless coming from a traitor to his own blood!"

"I will avenge you, Alice!"

"And I will find out where your little rugrat is hidden!"

"More aurors will be arriving soon, bitch!"

"It will be too late for you! Crucio!"

"I will tell nothing!"

"Oh yes you will, Crucio!"

"A Longbottom lasts till the end!"

"This is the end! Crucio!"

"Stop, you're under arrest!"

"Oh, fuck you! Crucio! Activate!"

"Shit, she's gone, check the Longbottoms!"

"It's too late, chief, they're completely destroyed, mentally."

Alastor Moody stood in the wreckage of a house and seriously considered retirement.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section V:

Albus Dumbledore shuddered in his bindings as Severus Snape stirred a huge cauldron.

"I beg you not to do this, my boy!"

"How could I not? He trusted me with his very soul."

"I trusted you, and this is how you repay?"

"Never as much trust, old man."

"Lily would not like to see you on this side."

"She was a fool, and died. Bone of the Father!"

"I order you to cease at this moment!"

"Unknowingly taken, you will revive your son!"

"Perhaps it is best—you will release me after?"

"Blood of the enemy, unwillingly taken!"

"Merlin, that is a gut wound, I've only minutes to live!"

"Flesh of the Servant, freely given."

"I hope he smells like your foot, for that…"

"Famous last words, those are not, you old fool."

"Ah, thank you Severus. A pity Ravenclaw's diadem is now gone."

"All for the greater good, as he would have said, I suppose."

"You always have had a way with words, my faithful follower."

Lord Voldemort stepped out of the cauldron, with a terrible smile on his scaled face.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section VI:

Sirius Black sat across a table from Harry Evans, a steaming goblet sitting between them.

"Will it make you my only father?"

"No, you'll have two fathers, officially, in a blood lineage test."

"I still don't see why you can't adopt me for real."

"With my studly past, you being my love child makes far more sense."

"I'm only agreeing because it's the only way we can make uncle adopt me."

"And I can still be your godfather, just like a pope."

"I'm eight years old, I shouldn't understand that joke."

"You'll drink it, even though I've corrupted you?"

"Sadly, yes, but you get to tell the family."

"Oh, yes, of course, I'd forgotten about that."

"Am I supposed to feel something?"

"Quick, catch, a portkey!"

"Oh, my head, you know I hate those!"

"Mother, may I present John, my halfblood bastard?"

"You wish to give him the Black name, I suppose?"

"Blackthorne, actually, isn't that more traditional?"

"Nobody's asking you, Johnny, may I present Walpurga Black?"

"Hello Grandmother, sorry my name's so terribly common."

"It will do, once you learn some manners."

John Blackthorne smiled sweetly at the old woman painted in the dingy hallway.


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section VII:

Severus Snape handed Bellatrix Lestrange a ridiculously large and ancient tome.

"Hogwarts automatic student register as promised."

"Oh the fun times I will have, Snapey!"

"Do try and restrain yourself and only kill the mudbloods."

"For a Death Eater, you're an awful joykill."

"You know it is the Dark Lord who sets your limits."

"I can't believe he only wants me to attack ten."

"He is much too fond of Hogwarts to cause it to close down."

"Perhaps he means to only kill ten…"

"Your torture victims are as good as dead, and he knows that."

"I'll return it when I'm done."

"I suppose it will be covered with blood."

"Impervious. Bye bye now Dearie."

"God I hate her baby talk."

"Ah good, you three are coming with me!"

"Where to, Madame Lestrange?"

"We're off to kill the muggles, the muggles!"

"Apparation coordinates, please—there are so many, after all."

"Milton-upon-the-Downs"

Colin Creevy blinked in shock as four people appeared out of thin air in his yard.


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section VIII:

John Blackthorne and Remus Lupin were walking through a muggle shopping mall.

"Oh, look uncle, a Chinese store! Can we go in?"

"Sure. It's a good thing Sirius isn't here though."

"How come, Daddy-o?"

"Don't call me that. They are terrible at separating magical and mundane objects."

"And my poor auror Daddy would have to report them?'

"Right in one, my lad. These are nice teacups."

"Should we send cousin Tonksy some chopsticks?"

"That poor girl is far too clumsy to even try those."

"Which is why it would be funny. These ones are pink, her favorite color!"

"Just drop it, Har—I mean John."

"I like these black ones with green—oh wow!"

"Colored sparks from lacquered chopsticks?"

"You're the one who says they have magic stuff here."

"So both of them are wands?"

"Yes, sir, my father make. Russian firebird, not phoenix in those."

"Cool, and what is the wood?"

"Hawthorne, you like?"

"Thorne wands, uncle you have to buy them for me!"

Remus Lupin was very glad he'd just cashed a paycheck when he saw the price.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section IX:

Bellatrix Lestrange was showing Hermione Granger a stack of newspaper clippings.

"As you can see, no matter how much I'd like to congratulate you…"

"I will be entering a world perilous to me and mine."

"Hogwarts will officially invite you at age eleven."

"So why contact me now?"

"Your school records indicate you are an intelligent girl."

"What exactly is your proposition?"

"Now is your chance to read up and practice wizarding customs."

"You suggest that I attempt to pass."

"How will that protect us? Only a little investigation will reveal…"

"You two ought to get out of the picture, yes."

"And then what, if they flee to Australia or something?"

"There is a particular illegal ritual I know of."

"I won't renounce my parents."

"But even you have noticed how, with your hair and mine…"

"Tell me about this ritual, so I can decide."

"It is more of a potion, with the blood of myself and my late husband."

"And it will fool a magical test?"

"Why do you think it is illegal, dearie?"

Hermione Granger sat and considered changing her name far sooner than expected.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section X:

Lucius Malfoy was looking down his nose at the head of Bellatix Lestrange in his fire.

"No, I cannot possibly imagine what kind of favor you might ask of me."

"You mean my dearest sister does not actually tell you everything?"

"I really can't be bothered with petty details."

"She took me very seriously then."

"Whatever do you mean, you lunatic?"

"When I told her to keep my daughter a secret."

"Merlin, who would father a child on you?"

"My husband did, obviously."

"I'm afraid he's been dead for years."

"Do you think I don't know that?"

"Of course not, sister-in-law."

"My daughter is of an age with your son."

"Buggering Merlin, how paranoid can you be?"

"Never mind that, will you help me?"

"Ready to bring her out of hiding and into society?"

"Shall I bring her over for introductions?"

"Certainly, lunch will start in just a few moments."

Hermione Lestrange knew as she stepped into the fire how Pygmalion felt.


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XI:

Sirius Black and John Blackthorne had just arrived at the annual Ministry Ball.

"Unfortunately, I am honor-bound to introduce you to my cousins."

"What's so terrible about that?"

"Their children aren't exactly like Tonksy."

"You mean they might actually be coordinated?"

"Well, rumor has it Trixie kept hers locked in a library till a month ago."

"There's nothing wrong with being smart and crazy."

"Draco's a clone of his father, or maybe his mother."

"A natural result of breeding for blond hair."

"Ah yes, Lucius, allow me to present John Blackthorne."

"John, how pedestrian. Draco, come entertain your new cousin."

"Another one fresh our of hiding, how delightful."

"I've heard about Lestrange, could you introduce me?"

"She's over with the other loonies. Herrmione, this is Blackthorne."

"I've just been introduced to your cousin here."

"Luna is disgrace. Longbottom, I'm shocked you're with Herms."

"I told you not to call me that. Neville doesn't blame me for mother."

"Are you calling them loonies because all their last names start with L?"

"Merlin, Blackthorne, are you really the same age as me?"

Neville Longbottom had always hated these functions his grandmother took him to.


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XII:

John Blackthorne stands next to Hermione Lestrange in a line before the sorting hat.

"You'd think by now even the muggleborn would know it's an enchantment."

"But the ceiling is lovely, and an impressive bit of magic."

"I suppose it could be the same gasps as when first seeing Hogwarts."

"Not everyone is as cynical as you, Herms."

"Mother just taught me the castration hex, Johnny."

"Too bad he just got called for sorting, cousin."

"The threat applies to you as well, little Dragon."

"I suppose I shouldn't be shocked he's a Gryffendor."

"He's the only smart person I've known with so little fear."

"Nobody asked you, Longbutt, now shove off."

"Being rude is unbecoming of our family and rank, cousin."

"You only care because you're trying to make friends with him."

"An alien concept, for you, eh, old chap?"

"Well, how odd, confidence from you, Longbottom?"

"Well, she's a raven, no shock, and it's my turn."

"And the hats' gone mad—how'd he get in Gryffendor?"

"He's got to have guts to hang out with enemies like you."

"Holy Merlin, everyone's speaking up! Shove off Weasel."

"I don't want to talk to you. Longest sorting ever."

Draco Malfoy would cry himself to sleep that night in the Hufflepuff dorms.


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XIII:

Hermione Lestrange faces John Blackthorne in a classroom empty save for a mirror.

"You startled me, sneaking in like that!"

"It is my specialty, dearest cousin."

"That and being cheeky, I suppose, like your godfather."

"What do you see, that draws you here so often?"

"That's a damn personal question, asking about deepest desires."

"I see my parents standing beside me."

"Oh John. So do I."

"And I can tell that they love each other."

"We are on a golden beach together."

"As much as they love me."

"Santa is surfing, in the last light of sunset."

"Mum mouths that she is proud of me."

"Oh Merlin, I wish they were proud of me."

"We've got to stop meeting here."

"It's funny, how alike we are, Blackthorne."

"Oh, but Hermione, we are cousins after all."

"It's as though we are connected by our souls."

"Must you always ignore me?"

Ronald Weasely slunk away from the door, already planning a personal visit to the room.


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XIV:

Draco Malfoy is facing Quirinius Quirrel in the last chamber guarding a certain stone.

"Not quite the boy I expected to see. What brings you here?"

"My godfather tried to advise you against this action."

"And you think to succeed where he did not, foolish boy?"

"I know the meaning of true loyalty. Who did you expect?"

"Harry Evans, by some name. You I will spare for loyalty's sake."

"A stuttering fool like yourself couldn't do anything but spare me."

"There is more to me than you see, young Malfoy."

"Oh, do tell, if you can spare the time."

"Tell your father that our mutual lord wishes to see the protections."

"Protections on what? Should I care what such a pathetic follower says?"

"That which was entrusted to him many years ago."

"I will tell him what you said, and he will verify."

"Who helped you pass the gauntlet, boy?"

"Why do you care to find some Harry Evans?"

"Ask your godfather why he missed your fifth birthday party."

"How old is this Evans, and does the Dark Lord seek him?"

"He is an enemy of the Dark Lord, though he is your age."

"See, you can be cooperative. I'll just be off then."

"Crucio! Gah, how did I miss the little brat?"

Draco Malfoy was happy to direct his uncle the auror to the chamber he'd fled.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XV:

Hermione Lestrange is sitting in Gilderoy Lockheart's class, hand raised as always.

"I have a question, professor, about your two most recent books."

"Ah, yes, such a rush, publishing them so close together."

"I suppose it was an editorial mistake, then."

"Yes, I suppose, but what exactly?"

"In the most recent, it mentioned what you vanquished on your birthday."

"Indeed, the blubbering banshee, I remember."

"Yes, and in the previous book, it said you dealt with the snipe then."

"My books come out once a year, Miss Lestrange."

"These didn't, as you just mentioned—you had such a busy year."

"Perhaps the editor did simply repeat the date."

"The date, and the fact that it was your birthday."

"Now I remember. Amazing what can happen in one day."

"How far can you apparate in one day, professor."

"Not everyone can go as far as I, or as many times."

"Of course not, I wouldn't try to replicate, but how far, total?"

"Five in one day, a hundred miles each, so as to be less tiring."

"One of these incidents is in Brussels, and the other is in Singapore."

"You're back to that, are you?"

"Those cities are more than a thousand miles apart."

Luna Lovegood would expose a different duplication, later in her class, starting a fad.


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XVI:

Sirius Black and Remus Lupin are giving a set of combined presents to their son.

"Alright, a cool watch. Waterproof, I certainly hope."

"Yup. Every young man should have one."

"And it matches the wicked leather wristband."

"Sirius, you shouldn't complement your own present."

"And next we have oddly huge wrist wand holsters."

"Johnny, those are no ordinary wand holsters."

"They double as gauntlets, with a level of shielding power."

"Plus they are made out of the shear awesomeness of basilisk hide."

"Which basically makes them easier to disillusion."

"But how can I wear the watch and wristband, now I have these?"

"That's the best part, Johhny. Tell him, Remus."

"Disillusionment is shimmery, these distract from its presence."

"So you actually have to wear them all together."

"You can link them, so the gauntlets are put on with the others."

"So nobody will notice you are wearing them."

"This means I can start carrying both wands, not alternating."

"That's the whole point, bucko."

"That, and having a little extra protection."

"Nothing like semi-legal presents to make my birthday special."

"Alright boys, enough with the toys. My turn."

Evelyn Lupin smiled fondly at the three of them, and gave her adopted son a bowie knife.


	17. Chapter 17

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XVII:

Minerva McGonogal has just pulled the name Harry Evans out of the goblet of fire.

"Who is Harry Evans? He should come forward."

"Father says he was a victim of the Dark Lord."

"Thank you for the suggestion Draco, but the dead cannot be chosen."

"He is not a student of Beaubatons."

"Nor of Durmstrang. What does it matter that this name appeared?"

"The cup enacts a magically binding contract on those chosen."

"No such person exists, no such person exists, no such, augh!"

"What the hell's wrong with you Blackthorne?"

"Now Severus, we are still in public."

"The magic of the contract is working on me, that's what!"

"How is that possible? Surely some cheating is occurring?"

"And by somebody who wants me or this Evans dead."

"Now, there's no reason to exaggerate, young John."

"Oh shut up, Headmistress, you know the danger—and I'm years younger!"

"You dare! Fifty points from Gryffendor!"

"Not now Severus, the poor boy's overwrought, as we all are."

"Must we compete against this leetle boy?"

"Unfortunately, the only other option is losing your magic."

"Tempting, almost, isn't that thought?"

Fleur Delacour contemplated slapping the cheeky fourth champion for his comment.


	18. Chapter 18

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XVIII:

James Potter sat in the stands, watching John Blackthorne face a dragon.

"Is it true that he is the child of Lily Evans, after all?"

"She did have a son named Harry when she died."

"I want to be sure, Crouch, about everything. And his father?"

"Remus Lupin and his bitch adopted him, but he kept the black name."

"Yes, my old friend is his godfather, but is that all?"

"If this John truly was Harry Evans, why the change?"

"You think he his the child of Sirius, don't you?"

"Blackthorne is one of that family's names for bastard lines."

"And he is called cousin by the Malfoy and Lestrange brats."

"It does seem conclusive, but why was it hid till she died?"

"That's what I wonder, boss. He wanted me to marry her."

"Line theft via his lover? Quite the charge."

"The boy is quite good on his broom. Better than Black."

"Nearly as good as you at that age."

"I'd have expected this tactic from Krum."

"Indeed. This one must be better aware of the rules."

"I suppose you'll give him a high score just for that."

Draco Malfoy waited near the champion's tent, rehearsing apologies.


	19. Chapter 19

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XIX:

Luna Lovegood was on the arm of John Blackthorne as he opened the ball.

"Our mutual cousin Hermione looks good with Krum."

"They are quite similar in temperament, don't you think?"

"She's only violent to you. I heard you asked Cho before me."

"I saw Ron the Weasel ask Fleur to the ball."

"I suppose you'd rather have a real girlfriend."

"Herms must be affecting you. Does anybody listen to me?"

"I'm certainly not going to really date a cousin's cousin."

"I hardly need a reminder of you intelligence."

"The weasel's drooling was amusing to watch."

"Wretched little snake. At least he's not here."

"Blaise looked in his trunk. The twin's picture was for real."

"His mother really wanted him to wear a lacy maroon dress?"

"He could hardly hide it from a fellow Slytherin."

"I hear his sister has a crush on me."

"Ginny certainly did when I saw her last summer."

"She'll be disappointed. I have no Oedipus complex."

"Evelyn Puckle Lupin is a brunette, John dear."

"The secret's out, and you know Lily Evans was a redhead."

"I've always wondered it lasted this long with your eyes."

Hermione Lestrange was as quiet as they were talkative, lost in the fairytale.


	20. Chapter 20

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XX:

Fleur Delacour has just kissed John Blackthorne three times on the cheek.

"My sister and I are both in your debt, Jean."

"It was no trouble to simply wait and be sure."

"You are more of a man than most my age."

"Not a leetle boy, anymore, eh Fleur?"

"How can I ever apologize for what I said?"

"No, it is true, I still have some growing to do."

"John, you should have had her do something!"

"Just because you would love to have her at your mercy?"

"A veela, Johnny, what I could—"

"Do excuse my godfather, he forgets he is an adult."

"You wound me Johnny, my boy!"

"Perhaps we can be pen pals—I need work on my French."

"And I my English, but I may move here. Perhaps Gabrielle?"

"That would be another favor to us, sister!"

"Hush. Perhaps you will ask in a letter, then?"

"If something comes up, I know who to turn to, my friend."

"It would be an honor to be your friend, Monsieur Blackthorne."

"You may call me John, as well, or drop the Monsieur."

Cedric Diggory wondered how the boy had managed to not join him in Hufflepuff.


	21. Chapter 21

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXI:

Cedric Diggory was shocked when John Blackthorne elbowed past him for the cup.

"So not a puff, but a snake in lion's clothing? Confusing boy!"

"Oh God, I hate portkeys. I should have let Cedric take it."

"I see our guest has arrived. Hello Harry Evans."

"Is this a meeting of the halfblood bastards club?"

"Only you. A Malfoy is never less than pure."

"My evil uncle! Doesn't your veela blood disqualify you?"

"That is nothing more than a wicked rumor."

"Boys, boys, do settle down. I will do the talking."

"Trying to kill me again, old person?"

"You do remember. No, I'm offering you a chance to join."

"What makes you think I'd be interested, Lord Mold?"

"Watch your tongue boy, or I'll tear it out."

"Lucius, the same goes for you. I can see you know the value of blood."

"Referring to my taking a Black name, are you?"

"As well as peaceable relations with my followers."

"It's only kindness to the stupid blonds and the insane."

"Nevertheless, you shook for some time the taint of your mud—"

"Mum was worth at least a hundred of you!"

Lord Voldemort was amazed when the boy apparated straight out of his bindings.


	22. Chapter 22

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXII:

Remus Lupin was arguing with Minerva McGonogal at an Order meeting.

"I don't see why you don't think the boy is qualified to join!"

"And I don't see why you think he is—even you call him a boy!"

"He won the Triwizard, beating out legal adults three years older!"

"You are biased because he is your son, Remus."

"Even so, I speak the truth. He is more than capable."

"We are all aware of the cheating going on in that contest."

"The others cheated as well, and you know it."

"As I recall, John helped me twice, and you let me in."

"Cedric, you have graduated, and were the head boy."

"And this fourteen year old was able to help me."

"Capable or not, the underage restrictions apply to the boy."

"I'm sick of hearing about the brat, either way."

"Sweet Merlin, James Potter and Severus Snape speaking in unison!"

"We're just about to get a paper saying V has married a muggle."

"I think the Quibbler ran that a few years ago."

"Don't encourage them! We have a meeting to run."

"Really it is a wonder we get anything done."

"Are you sure John even wants to join, Sirius?"

"But it's so fun having these arguments, and you know what he's like."

Bill Weasley quietly left the crowded room, glad his new girlfriend had not joined.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXIII:

Delores Umbridge faces Percival Weasley in a small courtroom, sweating profusely.

"I assure you, my interest in the position is completely altruistic."

"Surely you are aware that it is quite unlikely that you should get it."

"I am very close to the minister, as you know."

"Mr. Crouch told me to expect applicants from the aurors."

"Who can hardly be spared in these trying times."

"Of course, but Hogwarts does need a defense teacher."

"And I am only here because the minister is also concerned."

"Surely you are needed for your undersecretary position?"

"He was so kind as to spare me for this important purpose."

"Of course, Madam. Your credentials, please?"

"I assure you, I would not be here if I did not qualify!"

"Procedure is procedure. I need paperwork."

"Very well then. My service records from the ministry."

"We will need your NEWT scores, as well."

"But that was ages ago, and hardly a current representation."

"I'm afraid you'll have to talk to my superior about that."

"Very well then. I don't see why I have to give you them."

"Are you suggesting I go beyond my jurisdiction and look up your records?"

"Of course not, Weatherby, I was merely surprised you aren't allowed to."

"That should be all, once you fill out these forms."

"There are quite a few pages here, is it all needed?"

Percival Weasley had a feral smile on his face as he considered the joys of bureaucracy.


	24. Chapter 24

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXIV:

John Blackthorne faces Blaise Zaibini across a dueling platform set up in defense class.

"So, are you ready to rumble, my snakey sometimes pal?"

"I always am, whatever that means, Johnny!"

"Eh, you know, bit of American slang. Let's fight!"

"Now boys, this is serious, not game time."

"Of course, just trying to loosen up, professor."

"Oh, you gave me an idea, too bad. Serpentsortia!"

"No, that is much too dangerous for class! Nevanesca!"

"So you just flung it at my opponent for me?"

"_Augh, that's my wand hand, you little creep!"_

"_A speaker? There hasn't been one in years, I think."_

"Hey, it isn't attacking him! I knew Blackthorne was dark!"

"Shut up, Weasel, nobody cares what you think."

"Nobody cares what you think, either, Longbottom."

"_I swear, if you don't get off, I'll evanesco you for real!"_

"Shit John, and here all this time I thought you were afraid of snakes."

"Gee thanks so much for this Blaise."

"All this time, you've been a parseltongue, in Gryffendor!"

"Isn't life strange, Weasel?"

"I could have you expelled for black magic!"

"In your dreams, Umbitch. I don't have to put up with this!"

Delores Umbridge looked on in shock as he then did the impossible and apparated away.


	25. Chapter 25

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXV:

Walpurga Black smiled as John Blackthorne kissed her cheek, though she was a painting.

"What an unexpected surprise, grandson!"

"You won't yell at me for popping out of school?"

"Blacks have always been above the rules, dear."

"That is the one thing you and the popsicle agree on."

"You are just in time for a little fete he's putting on."

"Oh? A luncheon? Is my adopted father here?"

"And his wife's entire extended family. Running rampant."

"I haven't met many of the Puckles. This could be interesting."

"Off you go, and do me proud, my little serpent."

"Let's see, formal dining room full of Evie's stuffy pure fams."

"And here we are, relegated to the kitchen, as usual."

"This sounds promising. Hello, strange ladies, oh, and girl."

"And who are you to saunter into a private family event?"

"John Blackthorne, at your service. Mind if I sit with you?"

"Oh, they don't let you in the dining room either."

"I'm playing hooky from Hogwarts, aren't you?"

"Oh, not us, come on, the daughters of a squib and a foreigner?"

"Can I guess? Your father is a Spaniard and you go to Pretty Sticks."

"The French place? No, just an ordinary school. How do you know?"

"My mother is still in contact with your mother, secretly, you know."

"Papa is Mexican, actually. You were close. Hey, don't—!"

"Gah! That's not an orange! How can you eat lemons like that?"

"Where do you think the name Puckle came from, big boy?"

Lucrizia Puckle chose that moment to storm in on her barely recognized granddaughter.


	26. Chapter 26

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXVI:

John Blackthorne and Lucrezia Puckle are facing off over a kitchen drawer full of knives.

"Why won't you believe me when I say she wasn't trying to seduce me?"

"I'd cite the fact they hadn't bothered to introduce themselves!"

"I know who they are, you old bat. Aunt Corrine, Nadia, and little Zoë."

"Neither they nor I are blood relations of you, boy."

"And yet you are hosting your little family reunion in my house."

"I hardly wanted them here. But now that Evelyn's finally…"

"Made a breakthrough on wolfsbane so it doesn't sterilize Dad?"

"Gotten pregnant, I can't refuse her anything. Interrupting is rude."

"And keeping your grandchildren from proper schooling is cruel."

"They are not witches, and never will be!"

"I can sense the magic coming off of them, you know."

"It's all I can do to tolerate their periodic presence."

"You know, it's probably not too late for them to learn some."

"They've asked you to champion them, eh? They'll get nothing."

"Well, thanks so much, John. Now we'll never get an inheritance."

"She isn't stopping us from learning magic."

"My sister is talking about the small day schools."

"I think you've interfered quite enough, my supposed nephew."

"And they all left through the fire. I hate family events so much."

"Hey, Johnny, what are you doing here? Is it the weekend already?"

Sirius Black was startled when his godson growled and flooed back to Hogwarts.


	27. Chapter 27

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXVII:

James Potter and John Blackthorne are in the same line for a teller at Gringotts bank.

"No, I don't need to go down to the vault. Just a small withdrawal."

"This isn't a muggle bank. Goblins are forbidden to touch your money."

"Yes, I know that. Merlin knows customer service means nothing."

"Hookfist will help you with your cart, yer Lordship."

"You Goblins are so good at sarcasm. Am I up yet?"

"Huntress preserve me! Not the spawn of many parents!"

"Oh yes, John Blackthorne, here with a question about my inheritence."

"Again? With three fathers and two mothers, I'll have to refer you."

"Nonsense, his lordship the potter ahead of me hasn't recognized me."

"But he hasn't disowned you, either. We'd better move to a conference room."

"Surely he has a will giving his stuff to all the other potterlets?"

"All five of them, and his step daughter Susan Bones."

"I just want to know if I inherit anything but money."

"That is precisely what you inherit from Lord Potter."

"Do try to be more specific. I'm interested in rings, actually."

"Like those worn by lords? The Potter family practices primogeniture."

"Legitimacy is not part of being legal issue?"

"In the magical world, blood is everything. You get Potter and Black."

"How charming. Anything else, or will it take too long to get into?"

"Potters only can will away money. You get a nice pile of jewelry."

"Lovely. From all of my parents, is anything available to me now?"

"In terms of jewelry, yes, Baron Black has given you full access."

"This means I'll need to know about your cursebreaking fees."

Bill Weasley was summoned by his employers some time later when a ring was chosen.


	28. Chapter 28

Disclaimer: If you don't know fan fic when you see it, you deserve the agony of suing my penniless hide. That means you, Jo Rowling, and especially Warner Bros.

Rating: In my mind, K+ means PG 13. I could be wrong.

Note: Consider this story a series of one-shots. The overarching story should evolve in your mind.

Section XXVIII:

John Blackthorne kneels in front of Nadia Esparto, who is sitting in an empty cathedral.

"How can I ever earn your forgiveness? I swear, anything."

"I'm surprised you should want such a thing."

"I can think of nothing but you, the look on your face."

"You shouldn't be wearing that robe in here, idiot."

"You don't like it? Come on, it has a cowl."

"It is black and sparkly, and nothing like a monk's robe."

"Anything for you. Are all of you Puckles good at potions?"

"I'm not a Puckle. Since when do wizards wear Under Armor?"

"Since they invented it to stop spells so nicely."

"Of course I can do potions, but why did you bring it up?"

"I keep forgetting you are learning magic. I want to help."

"Your help did quite the opposite, please don't."

"I can't help myself, my schoolmates say I have a hero complex."

"I'm sure they think it's hilarious. Now leave me in peace."

"I'm falling in love with you, Nadia. Is it a potion?"

"Of course not. Don't be ridiculous. All you want is my body."

"You do have a very nice one. How can I prove myself?"

"You don't know me at all. And you are a social climber."

"We can be quill friends. And I could care less about purity."

"Really now, is that why you go by Blackthorne?"

"I never hid that I'm a halfblood. I had to hide from V."

"So it's true, that he kidnapped you during the Tournament?"

"Oh yes. He's threatened by our similarities, obviously."

"I suppose I'm about to hear a speech about this now."

"Perhaps I'll just publish a little expose about his being a halfblood."

"You'll have to try the Quibbler, you know how the Prophet is about the truth."

"You mean in that they never print it? I know."

"That's not what I, oh bother what I meant, you idiot."

"You liked it? I always kiss like that, Nadia."

"Always a cocky bastard, aren't you? I expect long letters and…"

Nadia Esparto dragged the unresisting boy out, unwilling to be kicked out of her church.


End file.
